THE SIMPLE LIFE

THE TIRED ME

Today was a looong day. The thing about this school is that they're very keen on class hours. This means that even tests have to be scheduled outside of lecture time so that they can continually cram info into your brain in the afternoon as you spew them out in the morning. I mean, I've never had classes that would reschedule lecture hours because of a national holiday. I still had my classes from labour day...oh yessiree, just not on that monday. It's definitely great that I'm getting my full money's worth here though, especially the amount I'm forking over! It's gotten to the point where the digits don't matter to me because I've never see that many numbers =)

So yes, back to my day. Here's a look:
6am - wake up (I shower in the mornings & I like to review my notes before an exam)
8am - write test
9am - Sensory lab
11am - Anatomy lab
1 pm -lunch
1:30pm - Book drive meeting
2pm - Biochem
4pm - Sensory
5pm - dinner
5:30pm - BREAK!
6pm - group meeting
7:30pm - assignment
11:30pm - now

I am so glad that this jam-packed day is not normal, otherwise I think I would go crazy. Seriously, my head hurts from being so tired - I didn't even think that was possible. Don't get me wrong though, I'm totally loving the fact that I'm here and I'm enjoying every moment of it! Well...almost. There's one class that's a bit of doozy but on the whole, the profs' are entertaining. I shall blog about the stories another time. I can't believe I'm actually in OPTOMETRY - whoohoo!!! =)

P.S. Did i mention that I ate 4 pieces of cake today - 3 of which constituted my dinner. I feel sick when I think about it, but it was darn yummy going down!

'Just Give Me Jesus' Conference

I ended up going to the Christian women's conference with Anne Graham Lotz as the main speaker yesterday night. It's actually a two-day event but I could only make it for yesterday since I had to work this morning. It was different from any other event that I've been to because it's in a huge stadium (where the Bulls & other sporting events normally occcur). It was weird to see a sporting stadium filled with only women; and from so many different states, brought together by one common thing - each one of us wanted more Jesus in our lives. It's truly an amazing bond.

I went with my church and it was interesting to see more than 70 women representing different generations all on the bus. I think there were some high school girls, some from college and young adult, some newly married and some parents; there were even a couple of grandmas. For those where english is not their first language, there were earpieces and different interpreters available in the various corporate rooms: Mandarin, Cantonese, Spanish, even sign language!

The session topic was about Jesus as our Saviour, and Anne Graham Lotz went through the last few hours of Jesus' life. One thing that I thought was neat was when she said that even when Jesus couldn't feel God He still quoted scripture and put His faith in the Word of God. (ie. when he said "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" ~Mk 15:34; it's actually from Ps 22:1) I found it interesting because it's something that is practical and that I can actually do - must read more Bible thought! I think the most moving part of the entire event was when lots of women gathered around the stage at the end of the night - some were kneeling and others standing, but all were just praying for forgiveness at the foot of the cross.

As we were all heading back on the bus, each woman from our church received a flower and a card courtesy of some men in the young adults group - all the cards quoted a passage and a small prayer. I just thought it was a really nice gesture, especially since each card was artistically hand-made (by guys nonetheless!) and it was encouraging to know that after all these brothers/husbands dropped off their sisters/wives, they were praying for us the whole time we were at the conference. God uses each and every one of us in the greatest way doesn't He? =) How can I encourage others in return?

"Love so amazing demands my life, my soul, my all"
~ Anne Graham Lotz

AAH...CAFFEINE

Ok, so I was sitting in my biochem class and had a moment clarity while on a french vanilla high - everything I'm learning is related to the eye! Don't laugh...it seriously did NOT hit me until today, even though the eye has been mentioned in every single class an infinite number of times. I guess I had been relating all that I've been learning to still being in undergrad. It's pretty similar in terms of sitting in class while a prof is at the front lecturing to us. I am going to know more than I ever wanted to know about the eye...I mean, I'm going to seriously know it inside and out. Part of me is wondering: am I ready for it? The other part is thinking: this is what I always wanted! I guess I'm a little scared that I've lost that desire which drove me to want to go into optometry in the first place. But I'm pretty sure this fear is induced by my brain-deadness from the constant cramming of info and adrenaline rush of needing things to be done.

Even as I write this, I am reminded of my original reason for wanting to be in this profession and what I had written for my application. And it just perked me up. Maybe I'll post it online one day =) I think I may need to print a copy and stick it near my desk as a constant reminder. But I'm liking this whole blogging thing...it helps me organize my thoughts. Sorry to all you who have to put up with the process as you read this though! *huggs*

THE STARVING ME

So while everyone else is getting ready to go back to school, I am already finishing my 2nd week of classes. Things have been pretty good so far, starting to pcik up though. I did a class presentation yesterday for some extra credit - I know I'm a such a nerd but I figured it was worth it! It was kind of nerve-racking standing in front of my whole class (there's 158 of us) but everyone gave sincere compliments so I guess all those years of the science centre did come into use after all!

We got our test schedule and there are 2 tests a week (some with 3) but at least they're spaced out evenly. Also have assignments and group projects, I'm almost finished two and hoping to finish my paper today. I guess this is pretty normal for a lot of the engineering people since you all have your classes together but it's definitely something to get used to as a science student. I can see how everyone in our class know each other by graduation because we all have the exact same schedule.

Something I don't like about being so far from home and living in res is the fact that I'm on a meal plan. Firstly, the food isn't the greatest but most of the time edible. *laughs* Except for last night were you really can't tell if it was fish or chicken (now that's scary!) Health is definitely going to be an issue if the hot food continues to be this greasy and fatty. Secondly, they don't have dinners on weekends. Now this is great for us to go and explore Chicago, but in this area - it's not like I can just walk to the nearest take-out or East Side's. Especially when it's dark. And they don't serve food on holidays. This mean that my last meal is on Friday for lunch and then I don't get to eat until Tuesday morning because fo Labour Day weekend. What should I do?? If I was in Waterloo, this wouldn't matter because I would just go home for the weekend. Not possible anymore. And I can't live on instant noodles for ALL my meals - heck, even I think that's gross! I guess it'll be a good time to fast...although I always said I couldn't give up food, maybe this is showing me that it's my idol. Oie! I hate to say it...but I hope not.

Anyways, last but not least, I saw "Primal Fear" last night with my roommate. It's an older movie made in the '90s with Richard Gere and Ed Norton before he was famous. If you haven't seen it, I HIGHLY recommend you rent it. It's one of those movies that would rank around Shawshank...below it but in the same category of 'good'. It sent shivers through my body and I couldn't sleep for a bit, but you know how I am with movies. Guess that's all, school can't be THAT crazy yet if I can still have time to catch a flick, rite? Toodles! =)

THOUGHTS ON 'BANANA BOYS'

I finally read "Banana Boys" by Terry Woo. I first heard of the book through Imprint (the Waterloo school paper) and then through Ivan's blog. It took me a while to get it, apparently it's not so popular in the States - I had to get mine loaned from the University of Vermont. Yes, I am too cheap to buy the book. Heck, it says $22.99 on the back! For a paperback nonetheless!

I must say that I'm disappointed. I had expected more; more humor, more connection, or something. To be honest, it just a story about a bunch of depressed asian guys who drink waayyy too much and ramble about their pathetic lives...actually, in this sense, the book was kind of realistic. *grin* But I guess it wasn't what I had wanted from the book and a lot of the experiences the characters had I really couldn't relate to. I DID enjoy trying to decipher the written form of chingish (ie. "heung jiu" = 'banana' in cantonese). It's something that I often use myself when taking down phones messages for my parents since I can't write chinese. Another thing that I thought was kind of neat was that the setting sometimes took place in Waterloo, so I knew which buildings they were talking about.

On the whole though, it's definitely a book to borrow from the library, and read only if you had time. Maybe it's because I'm a girl and the characters were guys. I find that a lot of times the conversations between the characters reflect the pseudo-philosophical discussions found on the msg board (which I also conveniently skip; sorry boys!) And their complaints about the CBC girls I find are unfounded. Of course this is my biased opinion. For example...

This is an excerpt where a guy named Dave is explaining why he likes his friend's sister:

I completely disagree with this, I know plenty of girls who fit the discription, and aren't too...anything. AND they're all dating Banana boys. So the basis of the book's is wrong. My theory is there must be something wrong with the characters in the book since no girls want to date them - could it be their self-pitying nature and lack of guts to ask a girl out?

Let's face it, deep down every girl essentially wants someone to take care of them and protect them & their off-spring. It's part of nature and is inborn, I don't care how you put it. Now, even if you're the independent type of girl (which would be more my case) it's still there - its just hidden underneath the lack of trust for the opposite sex. That is, how can these guys possible do a good enough job for their "dependants" when they can't even take care of themselves. Best we watch our own back first. This is how I think my generation of girls are brought up see it. I'm not saying that it's right or that it's good. In fact, I don't think it is and I'm learning to let go of my need to be in control and how to believe in the opposite sex (something that's a work in progress). The best way for a person to improve is when others put their trust in your abilities and just let you go at it. I mean, how else is the poor sap suppose to learn? *grin*

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THOUGHTS ON B. B. - CON'T

I couldn't help but compare myself to a character's desciption of the "ideal woman" - just to see if there was any resemblance. It's silly and stupid, I'm the first to admit it. And I can picture all of you guys laughing at me as you read this but I don't care! I'm being honest on my blog, so there =P

Excerpt #2:
"I see a willowy Asian woman: long black hair, pale complexion, large expressive brown eyes, perhaps like the ones on Japamine heronies. She has a smallish nose, and a smallish mouth, which generously gives smallish smiles.

She's neatly dressed, yet cery casual bordering on slobhood at home. She's intelligent and quiet, but never afraid to speak her mind when she feels she's right, calling me on my copped attitudes witha firm stare and a wry sense of humour.

She's resonable and serious, but she can also relax and cut loose once in a while. She might be in a 'responsible' field like accounting or optometry, but she has a full appreciation of the finer things in life, to counterbalance my aftless lack of culture.

She likes reading, she trasures her time alone, but she also loves spending time with me, just goofing off - lying in the part in the summer, driving for takeout late at night, making snide comments at the latest fall offerings by the Fox Network. She likes good coffee and good music, some of which we would argure about in a good-natured sort of way. She likes the occasional beer; when she does drink, she laughs a lot and turns red.

She likes to try new things like going out for Ethiopian or Romanian, or giving that new neo-Uiguric-Etruscan palce a shot. She makes a great Caesar salad, but otherwise, she can't cook worth beans - she pawns off all the cooking duties on me."

Let's see: Asian woman, check. I won't describe my hair as long nor my eyes large, and I look NOTHING like the anime characters. They are hot though, you've got to admit. Especially the chicks from Final Fantasy!

Anyways, my dressing may be too casual - I am more slobbishly dressed then I care to admit at times. I don't normally speak my mind unless the conversation is going at my pace - otherwise, it takes too long and requires too much effort to form an opinion. I'd rather observe and absorb. And I'm not the person that comes to mind when you think of having a sense of humour.

Ah, here comes the fun part. I'd like to think I am reasonable and serious when I need to be. And I can definitely cut loose. I AM in optometry (whoohoo, extra brownie points!) but I'm afraid I'm not very good in appreciating artsy stuff.

I do like to read a lot and I absolutely treasure my time alone. This may be single-child syndrome coming out in me. I guess I would enjoy spending time with a guy if I liked him but I'm not big on drinking coffee. Unless, of course, it's Timmy's iced caps...something that they need to start here in the states. I hate beer and refuse to drink it but I do turn red if I drink alcoholic beverages (I believe it's called the Asian flush).

I'd like to say that I enjoy trying new things but I'm not extremely adventurous. I think the last sentence speaks to me like no other - I would say that I've found my soul-mate if the guy can: a) appreciate a good Ceasar salad and b) want a girl who can't cook! *laughs*

I know that if I had to write down my "ideal man" it would probably be 10 times longer than this excerpt =). But just out of curiousity, how similar is this list to what you, as male blog readers, are looking for? I'm expecting at least 1 response from Ivan, cuz he's always willing to share his thoughts with me. Let me know!

WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?

So ends my 2nd day of classes. Things have been going fairly well, most have been review except for my optics course - which already has half the class spinning in confusion. You may have noticed my title. You know how at the beginning of high school and university, they always have those workshops that go over how you should study? This is the first time EVER, that I have actually followed it. I have reviewed all my courses before the lectures, finished dinner, then head back to my room to review what we talked about, and then reviewed to the next day's lectures. Hence my question: What IS happening to me? It's always been that I would procrastinate during the first month of classes until assignments and midterms start getting close - then I start to hit the books. Mind you, I realize that it's only the 2nd day but still - it's weird. More scary, I think, is the fact that every other person in Res is doing the exact same thing. *sigh* I can feel myself getting old very, very fast. I need to act silly and childish before I start losing who I am. I think I have always found my identity in being impulsive. Granted, this has gotten me into trouble time and time again. But I had always thought that a little spontaneity was a good thing, not to mention fun! Does it mean that you can't be spontaneous if you want to be mature? (RE: Simon's blog) 'Cause you should always be doing something else - that's what doing things on impulse means...dropping everything and doing whatever you crave at the moment. Hmmm, just re-reading this last sentence, I can see how this is reflected in the dips in my life. Maybe it IS time for me to mature - now that's a thought!

On the topic of "exercising" (RE: Steph's blog), I have decided to take up yoga. They do have cardio/dance, what I normally like to do, but it's during my classes. Is yoga exercising? I mean, I can't see how much of a workout you can get from breathing and meditiating. But if you look at Madonna, she's crazy-fit and that's all she does! (Or so she says...) We'll see how this yoga thing goes...I'm starting to feel heavier as well. It really might have something to do with the portions they give here and my desire to not waste. Or it could also be the fact that I snack on junk food whenever I get the chance. Weekends are not the healthiest since they only serve brunch and dinners are on your own. I spent last weekend eating instant noodles, chinese rice crackers, seaweed and chips. I had bought over $100 worth of chinese junk food to bring down with me so you'll be seeing that many pounds on me in proportion! =)

CHURCH...AND OTHER NEWS

So it's sunday afternoon right now and I just wanted to share something. I spent most of yesterday afternoon trying to figure out which church to go to today. Willowcreek was definitely out of the question so I started to search the web. It was a difficult thing to do since I really didn't know much. Who would have ever thought that there would be so many different denominations. For example, what's the difference between 'baptist' and 'missionary baptist'? And to make matters even more challenging, they even had the known questionable groups on the same site. So I decided to only consider those that I've heard of. There was two that sounded really good but both were quite far up north (we're talking at least 1 hr or more by subway). So I was considering a community church close to Moody Church - which was the one I went to last week with my parents. I even searched University of Chicago and Illinois Institute of Technology's website for fellowships and related church links since they were both relatively close to where I was.

All I can say is that God always provides. Helen called me just to check-up and she just happened to mention that I could look into going to a chinese church. Funny huh? Since I'm chinese, you'd think that this would have already been thought of. So I did more internet searching and found CCUC (Chinese Christian Union Church). It's located in Chinatown, which is 1 subway stop away from where I get on. I figured it was close, and since I didn't know what time the baptist church next door started, I'd go to CCUC this week and check it out first. It took me about 30 mins to get there and let me tell you, even though it was broad daylight, it was scary walking around a strange city - especially when you're female and you know the neighbourhood isn't the safest. My roommate gave me a bottle of mase to carry around. I know I've been living in a suburban bubble my whole life but seriously, who really walks around carrying mase and pepper spray in Toronto? Isn't it illegal or something?? Freaked me right out cuz it's apparently the most normal thing to have around here, regardless of whether you're a guy or a girl. Anyways, I walked into the sanctuary and it felt like I was home - it was so weird. Maybe it's because I had all this fear building up inside of me so the minute I sat down, it just hit me. Overall, the experience was good. I joined a Sunday school group, although they technically weren't doing sunday school stuff. It was the age-group closest to me and they were doing bible study leadership training so I joined in. It turns out that their previous pastor had moved to Toronto and is actually serving at NYCBC right now. How neat is that?

Anyways, in other church-related news, I went to the baptist church next door on the way to the station to find out the service times. I tried yesterday but the doors were all locked. It was kind of scary because all the windows had wires on them (in case I didn't mention before, the school is located in a rougher neighbourhood). I went inside and it was still scary and also pretty gloomy. I mean, you'd be intimidated too when you have big portraits of large, black pastors staring at you when you walk into the church. I hope that didn't sound racist...it wasn't meant to be, it's just how I felt. So I don't think I'd be comfortable going there every week...maybe during exams if I really need to.

Another thing to mention is that there's a Women's conference on Sept. 10 - 11 that I'm thinking about going to. The main speaker is Anne Graham Lotz, daughter of Billy Graham, and it's in Chicago. The best part is, it's FREE and there's no registration. So I can just show up last minute if I wanted to, although I'd have to figure out where it is. That's about all I have to share right now...I'll let you know how things go =)

THE THANKFUL ME

Hey guys! Thanks for all your words of encouragement, it truly means a lot to know that there's so many people back home who are praying for me and supporting me. Things are slightly better today. I got to meet a classmate who goes to church - Willowcreek nonetheless! But unfortunately he's commutes about 1 and a 1/2 hrs to school everyday so I doubt he'd be willing to drive out just to pick me up for church. It's weird, I've met so many classmates that are married - this guy just got married a month ago. Another guy's been married for 6 years and has one kid who's 4 and another on the way. There's at least 4 or 5 women that I saw who had rings on their finger. Hanging around so many people who are so focused and mature is definitely something I need to get use to and learn from.

Yup, our year is very diverse and actually kinda sketchy. *laughs* We had an interactive forum on ethics today with questions that had obvious answers such as if you should date patients - the answer being yes if they were cute, duh! I'm just kidding =). But some of the questions that they asked I seriously wouldn't have even considered. For example, you have a practical exam today so last night you practiced on a friend (so you know their eye and the procedure really well) only to find out that the prof had assigned that same friend to be your patient subject. I would have just wrote it off as being lucky but apparently you're suppose to tell the prof so that they could change the people. Now in retrospect, I can see how that would be unfair to my classmates (or "colleagues" as they continuously drill into our heads) but yeah, definitely wouldn't have thought of it at the time.

Last but not least, I know that many of you have been asking for contact info. I do have everything and I'm just trying to find everyone's e-mail and just send one mass e-mail out instead of doing it individually - so it's coming! On that note, would you mind e-mailing me all your contact info as well (mailing address, e-mail, phone #) just cuz I left my address back at home. Thanks again guys! *huggs*

THE OVERWHELMED ME

So ends our first day of orientation. Wow, do they cram things in. I feel so completely lost and...overwhelmed by everything right now - I need time to digest. Things are going way too fast.

*break*

I thank the Lord for always providing when I am in need and I can only pray that I may be used in the same manner as well. Had my blogging not been interrupted by a much needed phone call, this would have continued to be a freaking-out session. Though I still have fears (one in particular is finding spiritual accountability), I am reminded that no matter what He is always with me. There are still many questions and uncertainties; but as long as I focus solely on my Father and surrender all, I will not go astray. I take great comfort in this fact. I need to worship Him more! =)

P.S. I have a feeling this "freaking-out" thing is going to happen a lot more often now. Oie!