MASSIVE UPDATE
Warning: Lengthy - suggest to read only when have nothing else better to do! (but then again, why else would you be reading blogs anyway?)
Ok, I realize that it's been a while that I've seriously blogged. To be honest, there wasn't much to blog about - I could tell you about what I did but it's the routine of eating; classes, studying and sleeping. And normally, I would have blogged more of a personal reflection but my priorities were all screwed up so there wasn't much of that (as you may have noticed). Luckily, I lost my notebook, which was what got me back on track. Let me explain:
I have this tiny, little notebook that I write verses, quotes, reflections, sermon notes, Sunday school topics, etc. in. I started my first book when Helen & Karen gave each person one at women's cell last Fall. I finished it while back at home for the summer and bought a new one. At that time however, I was going through a transition between fellowships & churches so my new notebook didn't have much focus. It contained more random quotes (not that they weren't good) but a lot less biblical verses (a direct correlation of where I was at the time). I think things got got more and more random as I moved to Chicago.
So last Sunday, I lost this notebook after lunch and I know I last saw it in the sanctuary. I retraced my steps but couldn't find it - so ended up buying a new one. Since I had to start over, I began my first page with 2 verses from Philippians 3: 8 & 10. These two verses are what I'm basing my re-focus on. I knew it needed to happen, because school was taking priority over everything else, yet at the same time I was having such a hard time giving it up. Why? Because this is the first time ever in my academic career, that I have seriously worked my hardest, especially for the reason of just wanting to & for the pure enjoyment of it. More importantly, I was putting effort in and actually seeing the results immediately. It just snowballed and I pushed myself harder.
Things were not going as it should have. I was a believer of Jesus yet I had no accountability. Although Helen has been extremely encouraging long-d, there's only so much you can do without being physically present. There are so many times were I wished Jeff was here to keep an eye on me like he did back in 'loo. It's so much easier to have someone in your group of friends who would rebuke you out of love and I really missed that. My roommate and I get along great; but she's brutally observant and it keeps me on my toes because she would often question where I drew my grey lines as a believer. It was the first time I fully realized that people are ALWAYS watching - what a harsh reality check. I am thankful and ashamed at the same time. I felt like I was being tested and just failing miserably while "on my own". I realized that this was my problem - I felt like I was on my own when I really wasn't. And the reason I felt like this was because my priorities weren't in the right order. It actually not bad, what's bad would be having nobody ever watching, or having lots of people watching but nobody making comments. I am thankful that God gives me accountability when I need it, although (as per usual) not in the way I had expected. I know I still have tons to learn, especially when I see my friends here possessing so many Christ-like qualities that I am weak in. I have 4 years though and I know that God can use this time to shape me if only I am willing.
Now onto my activities update. As you read from my last blog, I had two friends who came down to visit for the Thanksgiving weekend. It was awesome because it's the first time I actually got to go around and act sort of like a tourist in Chicago. Steph took some pics and detailed how she surprised me as well as my reaction (it's a tear jerker *grin* ) so you can find all that on her blog if you'd like. Anyway, while they were here, we got to eat at the Cheesecake factory; went to an awesome place known for its live jazz/blues performances; saw the silver "bean" and walked around the parks surrounding it. It was a blast and I was sad to see them leave so soon cuz there's still so much more we wanted to do (can you say "boat ride" down the Chicago river?)
I've also been going to my on-campus fellowship now that they've switched the meeting day. Just this past week, they invited a speaker who's a missionary & optometrist in Congo. She graduated from Indiana and after working 4 years, went to Congo. She's been there 19 years now and has started 4 clinics (1 of which was destroyed by a volcano eruption). Now, God is leading her to build an optometry school in Congo so that they can provide eyecare to the country more effectively. She shared about the "Power of God" and it was very encouraging to see how things always work out admist the rebellions and diseases.
This is the first time since classes started that I had a real break in my studies. I just wrote a test on Wednesday and won't have another test for 6 days! (mind you - I'm including the weekend though). It's been a real treat and I've been savouring every moment. It was a first yesterday when I didn't rush out after small group finished to study but instead stayed to watch the baseball game, and it was a first today that I 'hung out' away from these school walls and not with classmates either. My SG leader took me out for lunch at a yummy-but-greasy burger joint and then it was someone's birthday so a few of us when to a japanese restaurant for dinner after my classes. (I haven't had sushi in sooo long...mmm, it was de-lishh!) Then went for bubble tea (another deprived asian area of my life) and then IHOP (aka International House Of Pancakes) for dessert. I seriously cannot hang out with these people too much or else I'm going to be a whale - it's unhealthy the way they eat here! But it's been great these past 2 days =) I hope I won't have too much trouble getting back into the groove of studying after having this taste of freedom - I have finals coming up in a week!
I was debating whether or not I should still continue with my blogging...I had more comments about random things that have been going through my mind but they're unimportant in the grand scheme of life and seeing how it's 4 in the morning, I figured I should probably go to bed. Fortunately, I don't have class until noon tomorrow, maybe I can sleep in until then. Haven't done THAT in a very long time. Caffeine in the form of bubble tea late at night is a very bad idea - my lifestyle has totally changed now that I'm here. First off, I'm asian! I should be immune to the effects of bubble tea; heck, I didn't even know that there were effects. Secondly, I'm normally asleep by midnite so being up this late is probably going to throw off my cicadian rhythms. Hee, hee, and the geek terms start spewing out. Uh oh, I starting to get giddy...haven't felt this silly in a LONG while. I miss this too. Thoughts getting choppy and hopping from place to place: bounce, bounce, bouncy, bouce! Hee, hee!
At least now you understand why I wrote such a long blog; my mind is racing a-mile-a-minute...wheeee!
Gotta catch 'em all!
