Hey everyone. I know I said I would update but things have been seriously nuts this past little while. I would love to let you know exactly want's been going on in my life but it would take too long & unfortunately, I really can't spare the time (not that I don't value you guys...I just type too slow)
I've been going through what my mom calls "growing pains". I know that I will look back on this period in a few months time and just see how much I'm being stretched but at the moment, I feel as though I'm just trying to survive. I appreciate your concern and praise God for continuing to use others to support, challenge & care for me when I needed it most.
I probably won't be able blog for a while (but never say never cuz knowing what's ahead...I probably need to vent some). Can't wait to see you all after I get through these next few weeks!
Much love,
~Vaness
UMM...
Hey guys, I realize it's been almost a week since I've last posted. I really want to considering there's a lot on my mind that I need to sort out in writing but I've been pretty busy lately. So I'll just leave y'all with one of my favourite love songs.
Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman? ~Bryan Adams
To really love a woman
To understand her - you gotta know her deep inside
Hear every thought - see every dream
N' give her wings when she wants to fly
Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms
Ya know ya really love a woman
When you love a woman you tell her that she's really wanted
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her that it's gonna last forever
So tell me have you ever really - really really ever loved a woman?
To really love a woman
Let her hold you - til ya know how she needs to be touched
You've gotta breathe her - really taste her
Til you can feel her in your blood
N' when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
Ya know ya really love a woman
Chorus
You got to give her some faith - hold her tight
A little tenderness - gotta treat her right
She will be there for you, takin' good care of you
Ya really gotta love your woman...
My favourite line in this song is "when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
Ya know ya really love a woman". To love a woman so much that you want her to bear your children...there's just something about how this is worded that makes it so heart-stirring. And the same goes for females too! To be able to look at a man and know that you are willing to go through anything & everything to have his kids. Aiya! Look at those words - I'm such a hopeless romantic =P
But just something to ask yourself.
DIZZY
As exciting and terrifying all these sudden changes are; I’m getting dizzy from the world spinning around me. I want to get off this rollercoaster – I need to walk on solid ground.
JUST FOR LAUGHS
I know it's soo politically incorrect for me to post this...but every time I listen to My Best Friend's Wedding soundtrack, this song just cracks me up.
"If You Wanna Be Happy" ~ Jimmy Soul
If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you
A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall
As soon as he marries her then she starts
To do the things that will break his heart
But if you make an ugly woman your wife
you'll be happy for the rest of your life
An ugly woman cooks meals on time
And she'll always give you peace of mind
If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you
Don't let your friends say you have no taste
Go ahead and marry anyway
Though her face is ugly, her eyes don't match
Take it from me, she's a better catch
Spoken:
Say man!
Hey baby!
I saw your wife the other day!
Yeah?
Yeah, an' she's ug-leeee!
Yeah, she's ugly, but she sure can cook, baby!
Yeah, alright!
If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So from my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you
FIRE UPDATE
Here's the final outcome - you can totally compare this to a picture I posted last nite from the same angle. There's no longer a roof & steeple and all the beautiful stainglass windows are gone.
Here's another one from my window. You click on the picture to see how the cars owned by students at the school are now completely totaled. If you look closely to the left, you can see a pile of bricks in the empty lot behind the church. Those used to be part of the chimney before it collapsed backwards.
Here's a view of the outside of our dorm that faces the church. Fortunately, there was no smoke or water damage . You can see that the windows on the 4th floor are completely blown in due to the amount of heat produced. I've heard of several people whose T.V's & DVD players are warped or have melted against their windows.
FIRE!
As some of you may have heard, the church next to our dorm caught on fire today. I was sitting at my desk when I heard a loudspeaker outside. My first thought was that it was a take-down of some sort. So I opened my blinds to find this: 
and this...
My room directly faces the church - Natalie comes rushing in and we sit on my bed to watch the smoke come out through every possible crevice. This was when we decided to leave:
By the time we got outside and looked back, the church was already in flames.
And it only got worse...That's my dorm and you can see the church on fire down the bottom right. It was literally across a small street.
Turns out it was a level 5 fire with around 185 firefighters at the scene & 2 of them got minor injuries. The church is a total loss though.
I ended up going to friends' places since we weren't allowed to go back to our rooms yet. As I was walking down the hall back to my room I see this 3 doors down:
My room is fine other than being smokey and my windows are cracked and broken.
I think only seeing this started to freak me out...cuz I was staring out those same windows when the fire first started. Made me realize just how close I was to the flames. My hands are actually shaking as I type this. All I can say is thank God no one was seriously hurt.
BORED? LEARN OPTOMETRY!
So I’m T.Aing a lab tomorrow and have to present a portion of it. So we’re learning about ‘change blindness’; how changes in our environment (big, obvious, fast or slow) can occur, yet we don’t even notice them.
If you have nothing better to do than procrastinate while at work, check out these videos & pages:
1. Classic experiment - subjects were told to watch the passing of the balls. What’s changing in the scene?
2. Merry-Go-Round – what’s changing?
4. Construction – what’s changing?
4. Magic Trick – how does it work?
Let me know if you found them easy or hard. It took me a while to find the change but my partner was a whiz. But I still thought it was fun!
Was having a conversation with Simon today and I was reminded that oftentimes, we pray for the wrong things. I need to pray for patience because, as he put so eloquently:
Secondly, I need to pray for humbleness. It seems that lately, I have to work really hard to remind myself that I’m not the one who’s in control and almost immediately, I turn around to think that everything depends on me. Who do I think I am?!
Completely off topic from the other two: While ‘studying’ yesterday night, I noticed that I like to grab my tummy fat – you know, the part that rolls over the top of your pants…love handles or ‘muffin tops’ as Connie calls them. On some days, there’s more to grab – like after a buffet. Is this weird?
HOLIDAY REFLECTIONS
Now that I’m back in Chicago, I figured it’s time to update the blog (and I don’t feel like studying for my test just yet).
1.
Somewhere deep inside me is the desire to help others, to help fill a little bit the hole that’s in each and every person. I believe that there’s a need - a need to be acknowledged, to be loved, to be cared for, to be held. How does this go together with those who need physical help – money, clothing, food? It’s easy to do just one…but when I try to combine the two, my whole internal structure starts to crumble; my values begin to conflict with my emotions. My thinking begins to go against my feeling, so to speak. “I feel as though there shouldn't be a limit to my love & generosity and yet I can't help but find myself lacking.” And as I struggle with these thoughts, to determine where I stand and how to be consistent, a part of me wants to just put it aside and not think about it. How many more times will I run away scared? How many more times will I replay in my mind the “could’ve, would’ve” scenarios ?
2.
I cannot give enough thanks and praise for my family. More specifically, the harmony and peace that we have. The stability and comfort that I’ve been provided over the years. Their patience and support. There is so much I need to learn from my parents. Caring and witnessing is such an incorporated part of their everyday life that they make it seems so natural. I’m also beginning to see how much I cherish the times we pray together. I think I enjoy praying with others in general. It’s such an awesome connection with God.
3.
Had a much needed breakdown the other day and realized just how frustrated I’ve been recently with my current stage in life. Not that anything has been resolved, but just letting it all out helped release some of the tension I’d been feeling. Thanks again, there’s nothing more comforting than a shoulder to cry on. And to everyone that’s given me a hug this holiday, be it casual or intended – you have no idea what it means to me.
4.
I find that I am never thankful enough for my life. Not just in the materialistic/socio-economical sense but also in the emotional and spiritual sense. I am so loved! It’s amazing and yet…why am I still so restless? It’s so crazy when you think about how many people care about you – those who take the time to chat online, to meet up or even just a quick e-mail can let you know that they’re thinking of you. I’m not appreciative enough of the fact that I’m alive; that this is a gift in itself and of the fact that I’m free. I don’t live each day to the fullest and I don’t live in the present as much as I live in the past and in the future.
5.
Speaking of living in the future, romantic relationships have been on my mind so much this holiday season. I don’t know what’s come over me but hearing of four different engagements just within these 2 weeks certainly hasn’t helped. I love how both family and many friends have told me in not-so-subtle words that I need to be more “obvious” *laughs* I can already picture hilarious reactions resulting from this advice.
Conversation excerpts on cooking & relationships:
Me: No Way! I’m only going to cook for a guy I like.
Dad: (after giving me a look) You better think this through more carefully…once you cook for him, he might not like you anymore!
Ouch! But I have to admit it was funny.
Mom: I’m sorry I never learned to cook well all these years.
Dad: I married a wife not to cook for me; I married a wife for me to love.
Awww...
Of course, I couldn’t get the exact translations from Chinese but you can get the gist of it.
And those are reasons #101 and #102 why I want a guy like my dad! =P