OVERDUE
As my friend Jenny would say: "Stick a fork in me, I'm done" or rather in this case, "well-done" seems more appropriate.
I'm 40 weeks and 2 days at the moment with no sign of it coming to an end any time soon (ie. no contractions, no show, no plug, no pain....nothing). And trust me, it isn't for lack of trying! I've searched online and attempted most possibilities. Although I did stopped short of using castor oil because a whole day of diarrhea just doesn't seem worth it even if I get a baby in the end.
I broke down in tears during lunch cuz I'm getting so irritable, angry and frustrated at everyone around me and I'm no longer feeling myself. I'm acting ridiculous and don't know how to stop it. Also cuz I'm starting to get worried - the doctor said that we'll have to consider inducing labour if the baby doesn't come by my next appointment. I'd really like to avoid that even though Alex tries to reassure me that the intervention is quite normal. I just want it to be natural...and soon!
On the other hand, I got a fresh dose of reality check when I went into hospital triage today for my non-stress test to make sure the baby's still healthy enough (the baby's still active so no worries). There was another lady behind one of the curtains going through early labour. It was actually quite disturbing to hear her moans getting louder and increasing in frequency. It didn't help when I heard the nurse tell her that they were more like cramps and that the contractions were only starting. The lady just kept saying "it's so painful", "make it stop" to finally pleading "I don't want anymore". I'll assume she's referring to the pain since I don't think the baby is anywhere on her mind at the moment. I'll have to remember to bring my ipod to drown out the sounds when it's my turn to be in labour. Somehow being surrounding by moaning women doesn't seem conducive a peaceful heart.
Lord God, please forgive me of my recent attitude and quick anger. You know exactly how I have been feeling lately and yet, it still doesn't excuse any of it. Please transform me to be more like Your Son Jesus - to be patient and still as I wait for Your timing; knowing that Your plans are best. Grant me a joyful spirit, one that can give thanks in all circumstances and stay positive in any situation.
In other news, my Kai Ma is arriving tonight for a 2-day visit. It was supposed to be a surprise but my mom accidentally let it slip. Hopefully she'll see more than just a very round belly! BTW, we started a baby blog - mainly for my parents but also for any of our out-of-town family and friends to stay updated on changes. You can check it out here.
