WINDING DOWN
It's been a month since I've last posted and only 2 more weeks in South Dakota. Looking back, I can say that this has been a very good educational experience. There were many time when things felt almost too routine, but this past week I've been able to shadow a lot of different ophthalmologists and started to feel more challenged by all that I still don't know. It was great - saw a lot of surgeries (cataract & eye muscles...vitreous and retina next week) and also so pretty bad things that could happen to the eye. Like yesterday - we had a patient come in who took a metal projectile to the eye. We saw all the damaged it left but couldn't find the object itself. They're seeing the specialist on monday. But it's been a great week and got me all excited about the field I'm in again. I think I'm really starting to like Urgent Care and Rural Optometry.
I was chatting with mom again about the future and each time I do, I work myself up. I'm someone who likes to plan things out and know the next step. I can't plan anything past September right now because that's all that I've been looking forward to and many of my priorities will change once we're married. I know that we're making the decision together and that Alex will support whatever the final outcome is but for some reason I feel I need to chose between my desire to do residency and my desire to be his wife at this moment. If I had things my way, I'd get the specific residency program that I want and get to spend the first year of my marriage living with my husband too!
Being apart has been especially tough these past couple of months. We've always had a long distance relationship and for the most part, it's been easy. God has been so good in that aspect. God is STILL good but I think it's cuz I'm all by myself out here that making it so much harder. I always thought I was pretty independent and adaptable to new situations. But I think that was more relative to school settings. I can switch into different schools but I still had opportunities to make friends. While the relationships with the staff are great here, everyone's older and has their own families and responsibilities. I'm getting involved with the church but again, everyone's older. There's been quite a number of tears shed in self-pitying loneliness, especially during the times both sides of the family got together in Asia and I couldn't be there. You always imagine that you're going to be there when your parents finally meet each other. Too many times did I wished I was in HK or Beijing instead of Rapid City. God's been trying to teach me to turn to Him, to rely on Him. It's been a hard lesson to learn and one that I'm still struggling to pay attention to. He is so patient and faithful to me.
That's about it. Alex will be in Rapid City on Thursday and we'll be taking our road trip back to Canada the following weekend. Can't wait to see everyone and start the countdown!
