THE SIMPLE LIFE

I'm posting twice in 1 day...at work...tackless huh? Good thing I'm not being paid by the hour otherwise I might feel bad.

1. Being in the "real" world isn't all it's cracked up to be.
You know I always enjoyed being in school...learning new things and all, but towards my last year I was really itching to graduate and be done with all of it. Now that I've been working for a while...I don't know. Maybe it's one of those cases where the grass is greener on the other side.

I know that I should be thankful. Speaking of which, let's list all the things I should be thankful for:
-a career
-that's pretty secure
-being at an office where they hired me knowing full well I may have to leave within 6 months
-the money
-patients that are great conversationalists, appreciative or just willing to learn more about their bodies

Phew! I'm glad I listed all that. It really puts things in perspective when I was just about to complain.

I gave notice at work that I would be done by the end of May. I was given options to increase my work hours before I leave and also to work part-time throughout the summer. I haven't really sat down to discuss with Alex yet but I'm going through a rollercoaster of emotions at the moment.

1. Guilt/Pressure
I feel as though I've left the practice in a tough spot, leaving before the new grads are licensed to work. I don't want to let the head guy down since he's been my mentor for over 10 yrs and a real reason why I'm even in this career. He mentioned that the other doctors and him would have to pick up some days to fill the spots.

2. Greed
If I did stay, I'd still be making money, which would help for planning the future (ie. house, kids, pets, etc.)

3. Bitterness/Resentment
I've been having a tough time adjusting to work. Not so much seeing patients (I enjoy what goes on inside the exam room). But the organization of the practice and my interactions & communications with staff and doctors have been awkward and sometimes even strained. There have been days were I've cried because of what has happened at work. Things have actually been better this past week, but I don't know if it's because I'm starting to get the hang of this environment or if it's because I know there's an end in sight.

4. Relief
That there's going to be a change soon. That I won't be living on auntie & uncle's charity and in a basement. That Alex and I will finally be together. The whole "having a place to call home" thing I blogged about earlier.

5. Worry
I would love to not work or work part-time but whether it is financially feasible right now because it certainly isn't necessary. What others would think if I didn't work. Will I be able to find work in a saturated town? What if I don't enjoy it?


Looking at all these ugly words really shows me how much I have withdrew in my relationship with God right now. Because all I should be feeling is peace and excitment. I know that God wants me to trust Him and it's quite obvious that I don't just by looking at how I feel.

I need a retreat to renew my spirit. It's been too long.

I'm lazy, so whenever I use soap, put on lotion, wash dishes etc. I never take off my wedding band or engagement ring. It's gotten really nasty over the year. So after being made fun of by every possible female, I finally got my rings cleaned...at work. I snuck into the dispensing area and used their ultrasound machine. Usually, it's used to clean glasses but it serves the same purpose overall. I think I'll have to leave them there for probably 15 mins to get all the gunk off but I was afraid to get caught by the staff so I only did a 3 min soak. It a big improvement already. I then used my magnifier (also at work) to check the results. It amazing what I can do off-label with all the equipment here at the office. I'm quite ecstatic with my newfound discoveries and plan to use them more often before I leave this place. My rings catch my eye again with light! =P

So I finally know where I going to settle down after being a nomad for over 5 years...Alex finally got his match results on Monday and we're moving to...


WATERLOO!



*laughs* So no big move to the West Coast as my family had hoped, we're sticking to good ol' Ontario. I'm just excited to call a place home. Truthfully, I never expected to become a "townie" when I studied at UW. Just goes to show how God's plans are why bigger than we can ever imagine. I'm really glad for Alex's sake though cuz the residency program sounds very progressive so he's pretty excited and we're also going to be close to at least 1 set of parents. Although I have a feeling my parents will probably end up here as well.


I thought I was the only one in this position but then talking to all the other significant others at their class party, EVERYONE was surfing MLS checking out places to live. It's nice to know that I'm not alone. =) Since I've moved back, we would always go to open houses in Toronto & Waterloo just cuz it's something fun to do on weekends but at least now we know it also served an actual purpose. I've been wanting to nest for so long. These next few months are going to be awesome - I can't wait!