WHAT MEN WISH WOMEN KNEW
I know, I know...I'm hardly the expert on this topic. The pastor and his wife did a 2-week series (this one being the sequel to "what women wish men knew") a while back, with the idea that better relationships can be built through understanding our differences. Since I missed the one that was applicable to me, I decided to borrow a copy and listen to it on the way to work this morning. It starts off with a video that interviews men of all ages at our church - from the teenagers to the uncles.
“When women share, they share their heart, their soul, and often times their life story. Everything. But when a guy shares something, they’re just sharing information. That’s all we really use language for – to convey the message, to get from point A to point B. What we really care about is action. You really have to put your money where your mouth is kind of deal”
HA! The women part is so true, could it be that it's because we relate to others through our emotions? Is this really how guys' relate to each other? That there's not much emotion involved?
“I wish girls knew how hard it is for guys to ask them out”
After seeing what guys go through...I honestly feel for you. Not that we're going to make it any easier, but we empathize. *grin*
“I wish girls knew that...guys have feelings too”
Hmm, maybe it's because the rare time guys show emotion, it's to yell at the television, punch the wall or kick the garbage can. Tears can go a long way you know.
“Guys are actually, without their pride, they are really weak. Just take away their pride, and they’re almost like children. And they also need help, despite their machoness and manliness…yeah, without their pride, it’s different”
Yup, I'd love to see how guys are without pride. But I think girls struggle with pride too, I definitely do. I wonder how male and female pride differ.
“Guys are really, really simple. We’re not hard to figure out. When we say something, we mean it. That’s the bottom line. We’re not trying to lie to you, or get another response, or beat around the bush. When we say something, it’s straight up. That’s it, there’s no guess work behind it…. I know sometimes girls do it, they might say one thing…”
I think this is one big difference between men and women. Women hint a lot and expect the men to 'get it' while the men are still scratching their heads wondering what's going on. Another thing guys have to realize is that a lot of times, women say things without thinking. We don't necessarily mean it, or we may mean it but just haven't thought it through completely yet.
“First thing, when a guy says 'I’m thinking about nothing', chances are they really aren’t thinking of anything. Secondly, guys can be emotional, so it’s ok. Thirdly, apparently for every 2 words that a girl says, a guy says 1. So when you’re talking to a guy and they’re not very responsive it doesn’t mean that they don’t like you or they don’t want to be around you, sometimes it just means that they’ve said all their words for the day.”
I think this whole quote (except for the emotional part) just throws me off. This part of men is something that I completely DO NOT understand. Must be one of those fundamental differences...
“As prideful as we are, we still want you to challenge us”
That's tough. We want to challenge you but bear in mind that your egos are often tremmendously big and extremely fragile. Guess that's where learning how to be gentle comes in...
“Sometimes, I just want you to love me. Sometimes, I just want you to make me a good sandwich.”
Best quote ever.
I haven't finished with the CD yet so...I'll be like a guy and have no more thoughts.
MONTREAL
What an experience! I had the opportunity to study males & their natural habits when I went to Montreal for the weekend with 8 guys. Needless to say, I was the odd one out but here are some things I learnt about the opposite gender:
-cars catch their attention like no other. We happened to see 7 or 8 Ferrari’s, 1 Mazerotti, 3 motocycles, (2 yamaha and 1 BMW), 1 convertible Mini and a bunch that I can’t remember. It was funny to watch their reactions and turning heads…the commercial with the boyfriend getting in trouble with checking out a girl passing by when he was really looking at the car is so true!
-food is a big topic. I’ve never seen guys get so excited about anything. I guess I never fully realized how right the little saying is: “The best way to a man is through his stomach”. Mind you, his stomach happens to be a very disgusting place. I spent the weekend eating like a man and feel disgusted by the weight gain is excess fat. I’ve decided that Montreal is like the Canadian version of Vegas – gluttony is ever so present! We went to Swartz’s twice; ordering the fatty smoked meat both times. Breakfast for half the guys was sausage, bacon, ham with eggs. Dinner was poutine and burgers and McDonald’s was our midnight snack. I myself had a helping of timbits and ice creams to add to this list. *shudder*
-guys can spend a lot of time talking about hair. Leg hair, arm hair, facial hair. This topic came up 2-3 times this weekend. Is this supposed to be a sign of masculinity?
-It’s possible to get 8 guys out of the house in half an hour when only sharing 1 bathroom. This absolutely astounds me considering the amount of time I spend getting ready in the mornings.
-Guys sweat a lot.
-They are also quite comfortable living in dirtiness.
-Their competitive and aggressive nature can show themselves in a simple card game.
For all their differences, they really are a sweet bunch. I got my own private room and the ONLY bed in the apartment while they all crashed on the floor. There were no complaints with my constant napping at and between every destination. They let me win both times we played Bang. I even got sympathy for my cramped calves that lasted the entire trip due to my stupidity in walking up a hill in heels (In my defense however, we went to the House of Jazz so I had an excuse to dress up!)
My personal highlights:
-watching Vanessa Rodrigues at the jazz festival. As Jon said, that one performance made Montreal worthwhile. I don’t listen to much jazz but it was the first time I had ever heard organ and turntables being used and it was awesome. Of course, DJ killa-jewel was female and pretty which made it doubly-fun to watch.
-the car ride back to Toronto. The conversations were hilarious and brought me to tears while being stuck between Jeff and Andrew can be the worst and best place to be.
All in all, I had an amazing time and would do it again in a heartbeat. It’s interesting to see what it would’ve been like to not have been an only child but to have brothers. I realized that regardless of their age, I would’ve still been picked on, teased and tormented! *grin* …Not to mentioned totally cared for and protected.
Of course, when my dad found out that I was the only female, his sole comment was: “If I had known, I would’ve told you not to go. All guys are the same.” *laughs* I love my dad and how in his eyes, no one will ever be good enough for me.