THE SIMPLE LIFE

Goodness! I was listening to the radio today while studying and heard some old R&B songs from when I was in elementary/high school. I looked up the lyrics cuz I liked the songs and wanted to sing along only to be completely shocked - I never realized how graphic the words really were! Now I’m not saying I wasn’t sheltered but it’s still kind of crazy what we’re exposed to as kids. But then a part of me wonders if I would’ve comprehended half the stuff they were alluding to even if I knew the words. I probably would’ve taken things at face value. But that’s even more disturbing…to picture little kids singing and dancing along to very explicit lyrics thinking they meant something completely different.

I really don’t like Xanga. I don’t like the fact that you can have locks so only ppl who have Xanga can read it. And I don’t like how you can choose who you want to view your entries. How am I supposed to stalk people??? Seriously! I know it’s been a while since I’ve surfed blogs but I am suddenly sad because there are so many pages that I can no longer access. There are only a few women whose entries will challenged and encouraged me by how they live their daily lives and to be locked out because I don’t know them personally is a total bummer. But I am glad for the impact that they’ve had on my life and hope that they will continue to do the same with people who actually know them. Livejournal doesn’t have locks right?

Was chatting with Jeff online last night and he suggested something to me. It’s not even that big of a deal – small, casual, and easy to do. At first, I brushed it off, but the more I think about it…the more I find that it’s actually a bigger deal to me than I originally thought. To go forward with this is confronting a lot of my fears. I don’t know if I am ready for it yet. And the fact that I can’t do it right away confirms that I have all these thoughts that I never even realized I had. So now I am hearing a voice in the back of my head saying, “And you thought you were ready for that?!! You can’t even do this yet! What's the rush? Enjoy this. Just take your time and TRUST ME”. *Deep sigh* Still such a long way to go…but so relieved I am not doing it alone.