THE SIMPLE LIFE

THE CONFUSED ME

In relation to the quote below, what do you think being a man entails? If you’re male and reading this – do you identify yourself as a “guy” or a “man” (vice versa for the females)? I think I refer to most of my male friends as ‘guys’. I don’t really associate “man” with too many of them. For sure I don’t identify myself as a “woman”; I guess that would mean that I think of myself more as a “girl”. What makes someone of the female gender a “woman” instead of a “girl”?

I think part of it has to do with age. I can’t see a 40 year old and still call her a girl. But what about those who are in the 20’s? I’m in a young adult group right now and I would identify some females as “women” and others as “girls”. The only distinction that I can see is that the ones that I consider “women” are more introverted and quiet and the ones I consider “girls” are more energetic and enthusiastic. I know something’s wrong with this perception but I can’t put my finger on it.

Also, this difference doesn’t sit well with me because that would mean that I would have to be less enthusiastic and more quiet. I don’t want to be but granted, it seems like this is the way things are going right now. I don’t know if it’s because I’m continuously lacking sleep and increasing stress but I find that how I act now is very different from how I acted all my life. Or is this what it’s like as you get older? Does everyone get like this?

There are so many times I want to make comments and then realize that they would be inappropriate and so I don’t say anything at all. But I feel like I’m not letting others get to know me if I am always so quiet. What’s happening to me? I don’t really say whatever comes to my mind anymore and on the off chance that I do, my friends give me a weird look, like they don’t know who’s talking…but it’s me all along, just not saying anything. Does any of this make sense?

I feel as though I should change my blog heading from “In Chicago” to “In Transition” because that is really how I feel right now. There are too many things that are different in terms of my personal self and the dynamics of people that are around me. There are days where I think I know what’s going on and there are days where I just go through the motions. There are only 2 constants that I KNOW are truths: God is always here and my family will always love me. All I can do…is keep holding on and enjoy what the ride.

“Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be”
~ Switchfoot: “Dare You To Move”