THE SIMPLE LIFE

FRIENDSHIP

As I had mentioned in one of my previous blogs, something that had been bothering me over the Christmas holidays was my unappreciative nature. An incident had occurred and I was extremely upset over it so I had posted a blog immediately after. I realized why Proverbs are full of such wise words like "When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise". I doubt anyone had time to read my post because soon after, I re-read my vent and decided it was better to remove it.

Basically what had happened was I got a call from a friend saying that they weren't sure they wanted to be friends anymore. At first, I was extremely upset because a) I didn't see it coming; b) I thought it was an extremely childish thing to do; c) I was hurt that someone didn't want to be my friend. I got angry and defensive and posted my feelings of outrage. (This would be my quick-tempered side coming out).

Since then, I have come to realize that it was a great thing for this person to call me. It told me that our friendship meant enough for them to tell me that they weren't happy with how it was going. Granted, no one likes to hear that they need to put more effort but I realized that I tend to take advantage of my friendships with people. Rarely do I call up friends just to chat and see how they are doing - even if it's just for a few minutes. I had come to define friendship as something that was silent and understood, not realizing that friendship was a lot like being in a romantic relationship - that it requires love in the form of time and action from both parties. You can't just keep on taking without giving something back. I still have a lot to learn, especially in terms of how to put my love into action. So many times I don't even see or think about the opportunities I have to show my friends that I care about them. That phone call was a sharp reminder that I need to get moving.

So to all of you who frequent this page, I thank you for caring about me and what's been going on in my life. I'm so, so terribly sorry for not being a better friend when I could. I do value you in my life even though I may not show it properly. Please be patient with me as I learn how to actively love. It's a big struggle for me cuz I'm so selfish with my time but I want to keep our friendship because you mean a lot to me!