THE SIMPLE LIFE

GUARDING HEARTS

Again, I am torn with whether or not to blog. Often times, I wonder if some things should be broadcasted to everyone on the internet. But then again, I'm curious to hear your opinions and thoughts.

Is there a proper way to communicate? I usually talk to others; spend time with others. How do you spend time and care for others without having your intentions misunderstood? How do you ensure that you are not unintentionally and/or subconsciously leading someone on? Should you keep all relationships with the opposite sex on a superficial level? Should you never be in a one-on-one situation with the opposite sex? Does it cause opportunities for romantic longings to develop? I have to admit that I DO feel closer to someone after spending one-on-one time with them; getting to know who they are, without the pretense that often occurs when other people are around. But is this closeness even good? Is it honourable or is it fuel for improper and untimely wants? Do I just crave the attention and companionship? Is every one-on-one encounter considered a date? I looked up the definition of date: “a social arrangement between the opposite sex, usually of romantic interest”.

Does this mean that if there’s no romantic interest then the meeting’s not considered a date? How can you guarantee that there’s not even a twinge of romantic possibility from either party? You can’t. This leads back to the question I had on the purpose of dating on an old post (see Relationships). I thought all the reasons for dating our cell group had come up with should be evident in every relationship we had and not just with someone you’re dating. However, that post was speaking of dating in terms of being committed to one particular person for an undefined amount of time.

If we used the dictionary’s definition of dating, what’s the purpose of getting together then? This would mean that I’ve been dating this entire time even though it’s not with one particular individual! It also means that I’ve been dating friends who have girlfriends!! This is why the dictionary’s definition doesn’t sit well with me. Or maybe it doesn’t sit well with me because it would mean that I’d have to stop getting together one-on-one with some of my friends. Which makes me wonder why I feel the need to have one-on-ones anyway? Why can’t the conversations we have, also be in the presence of their significant others? It’s not as though we are speaking of anything inappropriate. Granted I know my friends better than I know their girlfriends and so would feel more comfortable sharing about parts of my life that I most likely wouldn’t share in front of their girlfriends. Perhaps this just means that I shouldn’t be sharing those particular details to these friends anymore. Perhaps it means that I am relying on these friendships for support when it’s not suitable. When, where and with whom is the support appropriate then? How do you guard someone's heart? How do you guard your own?

I've had these questions before and still haven't found a good answer. Comments anyone?