THE SIMPLE LIFE

I woke up this morning all excited because I was going to be observing surgeries with the ophthalmologist that I work with at school. It got off to bad start cuz it began down-pouring as I left my apartment. And I was running late. Not to mention I had no idea where this place was. Took the wrong exit. Thought I went to the wrong medical building.

But I arrive. And surgery didn't start yet. So I got changed - actually got to wear scrubs and those little hair nets which was quite neat. Got into the surgery room and the resident told me that the tissue for the transplant wasn't in good enough condition so they rescheduled for another day. I was disappointed cuz I was so looking forward to it but settled on just observing cataract surgeries instead.

The first patient turns out to be an 8 y/o boy. I watched them bring him in, get him settled on the table, poke him with various needles and by the time they anesthetized him, I was dizzy & light-headed. I left to go to the washroom, barely able to see the door through all the spots. It was crazy, I was in cold sweats and shaking.

I calmed myself down enough to head back into the surgery room but just as I had the mask over my face, I felt nauseous and just wanted to lie down. It was so embarrasing to admit to my doctor that I couldn't stomach it and had to leave. All I could think about driving back was 'please let me make it home'. How sad is that?

So after staying in the surgery room for 1 hour, I have yet to actually observe a live procedure. It totally sucked cuz I've watch a bunch of different eye surgeries on video before in classes and I've never had any problems. Even when they did enucleations (removal of the eyeball); I was never one to be faint-hearted. Maybe it was the fact that I saw the kidactually walking/talking, not just some subject. Either way, nNow I have to face my doctor tomorrow at work, knowing that I couldn't handle it - especially after specifically requesting permission to watch him. *sigh* Just one of those days where I want to curl up in a ball.